Today I want to acknowledge people that have come back into my life and those that have left it. My “village” is changing and I am sure that it will continue to do so. A few people told me that when you have a baby many relationships will end up changing. I listened to this politely and nodded, but I didn’t realize how right these people actually were. I like to think that these changes have had nothing but a positive impact, but some have been a bit harder to find the positive than others.
I found out I was having a girl because… I just couldn’t wait to find out! The idea of having a girl made me take a closer look at some of my relationships. I knew I had a few toxic friends but I have always loved an underdog, felt drawn to the outsider; I want to stick up for someone who might be misunderstood. This usually has allowed me to meet some great people, but sometimes I have a hard time realizing when I might be being used for my understanding and patience (I also hate confrontations). I think it was Oprah who said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher”. This is something that I realized was so important for me to instill in my little girl. Girls have enough garbage to deal with… bad friends… no thank you! The thought of my coming back from a “friends” house feeling bad about myself because of something negative they had said and having my little girl see this as okay was NOT okay with me! It was hard but I knew that I had to cut out those people that were not supporting me. Those people that never really cared about me were not going to care about my little girl… so they sadly needed to go. I felt bad, but in this situation I had to be selfish and I know that it was the right thing to do!
On the flipside of those people I lost are those people that came back into my life. I couldn’t believe how many moms, that I had been friends with at one point, got back in touch with me to offer support! It was such an amazing feeling. I thought I had lost touch with these people and then all of a sudden to have them back in my life was so cool! These people wanted nothing but to support my little girl and me in any way they could! I laugh now at one of these moms who I affectionately refer to as my “mom activity guru”… we still don’t see each other as often as I would like. But I know that if I needed her, she would be here for me in an instant, even if it meant bringing her two kiddos along.
So thank you to those who have come out of the woodwork and continue to build my confidence as a parent and support me unconditionally. And to those of you that feel like maybe you have a toxic friendship, it is okay to say you have had enough… in the long run you will be better off. I am proud of myself for standing my ground and doing what needed to be done so my little girl can see her mom in happy, healthy, and supportive friendships!